Sunday, October 25, 2009

life is so tiring, i am so tired
my heart is so pain, be it family, love i am tired to go on le..
i am real scare that history will repeat
i really wan a break
my family is really falling apart..
i miss my past..
when i see my mum teared i really regret and i feel her pain and i feel tat i am a shit daughter.
where am i when she need mi, when she is lonely??
i hate my job now, always work plus with all the stupid shift, i cant even company her.she needs mi badly now..
seriously fuck tat person.really fuck her...is all because of that person makes mi suffer so much.
i always tot tat i can control everything, everything is under control but now i alr cant control le..i lose my power le..
and my love life is like a mess now..
i am really tired to face all these drama everyday..i hate dramas
and how cool is that not knowing that did your mother fainted? drunk? or sleeping too much sleeping pills...and carrying her up on bed when she collapsed in the toilet.
i wan my past back., i wan how my family use to be. i wan my mum to be happy like how she use to be..i wan to be happy like how i use to be..
i really wan the past back..
i have no one to turn to cause no one will understand , everything is just so drama
i am sorry mum..you wont be alone.
i hate you but i love you alot..
my heart is really tired le.
i just need a break from everything..
i seems to cant make any decisions anymore..
i need nothing and no one now but peacefulness
its just so unfair for mi..
i am really devastated...really lost

2:36 AM

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

-mourning

-acceptance

-letting go

-moving on

-survival

i need nobody but time,

9:17 AM

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

i have lots of photos to upload, meanwhile my facebook have all the insanes photos of us..
photos that mi and siang went to ktv and meet ah wei after that and eat pasar malam food at a corner...HAHA..shall upload later tonight, rite now, i am going to meet my gals!!!
miss them like hell le!
ciao.!

5:27 PM

Monday, September 14, 2009

how i celebrate?? pictures will tell....i love everyone that put in effort and also came..
love you guys...

when to arena after that, i was really shock by the gals...thanks my dearest gals..

you made mi teared and touch.

didn really sleep enough, woke up and started on with siang birthday surprise celebration..

sor sin yee, my best cousin in the world show up and suprise mi with a very meaningful present that i ever received...this is true kinship..

i refer to celebration so dear eisham insisted to just treat mi eat..

so we went to prego and swissotel, met a very nice gal livin, she was so nice..haha

although i didn wan a cake but they still prepare mi one but they respect for not singing a birthday song..but i love their tots...thank you livin and eisham for that night..

catch a movie , district 9 with yansin, jerome and my dearest sis...

see the differences between the 19s and the 20s...haha

lastly, thank you everyone, i received lots of presents , i am speechless.

i tot it will be the sadest birthday ever but you guys made mi happy and blessed...

hugs and kisses...xoxoxox

change topic ....

ppl who does not respect ppl's pride and value will not get any respects too...

that person should noe who i am talking about clearly.

i don wan to be emo about wat you say anymore, cause deep down, i noe better,

ya perhaps i am not an angel and like wat you say i act as one..

but, my friends and family noe much more better then you do, since after so long tis is wat you noe about mi, then its ok.

no point explaining how poor thing i am being said by you like tat, and i don noe wat you going to tell your friends, i am totally fine with it...cause they don noe mi well, either do you, but let mi tell you tis...i cant do anything to change you , but the reality world and environment will change you.

i might do wrong things before, but i change and stop doing it, and has been trying so hard to gain back your trust..so i dare to say that i didn did anything sorri to you...you are the one who cant let go of the grudge and keep thinking and mentioning it and turning in circles...

but for your case, after everything you do and say to mi, you should be sorri of yourself, cause after so long, you are not changing but turning from bad to worst. i will remember nothing but onli the last few things you tell mi.

and i think you think that saying those things are nothing to you, then by all means go hurt the rest with those things...

I DON THINK I AM GUILTY AT ALL...

human made mistake and i made it too, but at least i change but you refuse to accept the fact , so whoes the one finding fault and making mi suffer...ITS YOU...

THIS IS WAT YOU SAY TO MI, AND NOW I AM RETURNING IT BACK TO YOU...

FUCK OFF ...

2:58 AM

Monday, August 31, 2009

A LOVELY EARLY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION PLANNED BY MY BELOVED GALS...

they surpise mi by showing up by the door steps
before i left home.and i am real touch and i don noe why i am in tears..maybe because i really prepare not to celebrate my birthday but they did it for mi..

i am dared to do 12 task durng the whole outing and you really wont wan to be in my shoe..
but i am happy and pleased that they made an effort to think and to plan..so result to a must to complete the task..firstly to thank them, secondly to enjoy and thirdly to make everyone happy and enjoy ,plus entertain to the fullest..

we headed to mof in bugis for dinner b4 movie...yum yum..to the desserts onli!!!

ok i look like shit here..but i am happy...thats all that matters..

cooperative kids...that why i love kids...

my present from them..and one more top , but that one is to reveal on 5 sep...

oh ya..i also won myself a certificate of completion...

thats end of my celebration..

i totally enjoyed myself and pleased that everyone can make it for this..

my ladies...thank you..be it those that plan or no plan..the still mean alot to mi..

its the tot and heart that counts...

then up next is my mum birthday, due to my stupid sickness, i have to cancel the dinner resevation to the following day and my mum was pretty upset.

i am heartbroken seeing her sad, so me and my sis planned a really last min surprise, which is to bring her to my aunty house and having a cake waiting for her...

she was happy..

then, the next day, i still feel bad, but mother's love make mi able to dress up and we when for hai tien lo, a chinese fine dining restaurant at pan pacific hotel..

she was impressed by the view and environment, it was suppose to be a treat from mi and my sister but my dad was kind enough to sponser half..hehehe

ok..tis is random but these are the pictures taken before my cousin left for swiss..we will miss him badly..!!!and basket he make every one teared for him..haha...

back to the dinner, the lift was very high, i am not afraid of heights..but the lift really freaks mi out...haha
i am scare ok..haha

happy birthday mum, we love you..!

lastly, thanks to my friends and family who make mi feel better for my upcoming birthday...

i am blessed...

12:52 AM

Saturday, August 29, 2009

this year wenting's birthday , she wants...

she wants nobody to remember,
she wants nobody to care,
she wants no celebrations,
she wants no parties,
she wants not getting drunk,
she wants no birthday wishes,
she wants no presents,
she wants no birthday cake,
she wants a normal day but just allow wenting to be older one years old,
and lastly, she wants nobody to ask why...

and she is serious...
but she is very very glad and gratful to ppl who had plan ...thank you guys..i love you guys..
but tis year... :) wenting wants nothing...
thanks peaps....
but onli to my sisters out there..
tis sunday is still on..!!!cause thats wat i promise and of cos looking forward to spent my lovely day with you gals..!!!
i am sleepy, tired and not feeling well after mid night shift and now its 10am in the morning..
so...nights!!!

9:47 AM

Thursday, July 23, 2009

now that i move out cause of some personal reason, i decided not to be so low profile, and i should be proud cause i should put personal reason aside not as an excue but a chance for mi to be independent..RITE??

after moving out for a while, i learn so many new things,

of cos i will move back cause there is still ppl i need to handle and take care

but i feel a bit relunctant now..shit!!!

there is lots of first time that happen to mi during these days

first time...

-washing clothes,

-doing my own laundry plus folding
-thinking hard to cut down on expenses

-force myself to take bus instead of cab, save money

-shop for my own daily use items( e.g. food )

-clean and tidy my room now and then

-fold my own blankets

-eat onli bread and vita soy every morning

-miss home so badly

-miss cobi like hell

-feel real freedom

-sick but nobody attend to

-bother to sweep my floor

-bath with very limited usage of shampoo and stuff, save money

-throw my rubbish on my own bin

ok ok....you wont understand...!!!

anyway not trying to make you guys pity mi, please don't cause i totally don need that

but feel proud of me being able to look after myself and being independent...yea

ok why i move out..??

reason being, i have too many stuff to handle at home so i decided to take a break before history repeat again...clear??just some personal reasons that i don really like to mention and please don ask why, cause i am not the kind of ppl tat will wan to sit down and pour all my problems out.BIG NO NO

and i realize i get irritated by some things real easily nowadays, unexplainable. but i really got no more space in my brain to think why, so..haha

anyway just some updates about my work place, i love that place more and more each day..

i begin to click well with ppl around better and better after time passes by.

and because i understand the system more, i am not so blur anymore and instead i think i can be a helping hand instead of a burden stone now..hehe

maybe not true la, but thats wat i wanna to achieve during my attachment..!!!

anyway, big big sorri to those tat wanna to meet mi but have to postphone...

i am real sorri, my schedule now is so tight up, i don even have time to pack my stuff and go home, plus i don even have time for facebook too....

ppl who love mi will understand me:) i guess..hehe

ciao...peeps

2:51 AM