the desire of happiness

2009-10-25T02:36:00.004+08:00

life is so tiring, i am so tired
my heart is so pain, be it family, love i am tired to go on le..
i am real scare that history will repeat
i really wan a break
my family is really falling apart..
i miss my past..
when i see my mum teared i really regret and i feel her pain and i feel tat i am a shit daughter.
where am i when she need mi, when she is lonely??
i hate my job now, always work plus with all the stupid shift, i cant even company her.she needs mi badly now..
seriously fuck tat person.really fuck her...is all because of that person makes mi suffer so much.
i always tot tat i can control everything, everything is under control but now i alr cant control le..i lose my power le..
and my love life is like a mess now..
i am really tired to face all these drama everyday..i hate dramas
and how cool is that not knowing that did your mother fainted? drunk? or sleeping too much sleeping pills...and carrying her up on bed when she collapsed in the toilet.
i wan my past back., i wan how my family use to be. i wan my mum to be happy like how she use to be..i wan to be happy like how i use to be..
i really wan the past back..
i have no one to turn to cause no one will understand , everything is just so drama
i am sorry mum..you wont be alone.
i hate you but i love you alot..
my heart is really tired le.
i just need a break from everything..
i seems to cant make any decisions anymore..
i need nothing and no one now but peacefulness
its just so unfair for mi..
i am really devastated...really lost

2009-10-21T09:17:00.002+08:00

-mourning

-acceptance

-letting go

-moving on

-survival

i need nobody but time,

2009-09-22T17:27:00.003+08:00

i have lots of photos to upload, meanwhile my facebook have all the insanes photos of us..
photos that mi and siang went to ktv and meet ah wei after that and eat pasar malam food at a corner...HAHA..shall upload later tonight, rite now, i am going to meet my gals!!!
miss them like hell le!
ciao.!

2009-09-14T02:58:00.006+08:00

how i celebrate?? pictures will tell....i love everyone that put in effort and also came..
love you guys...

when to arena after that, i was really shock by the gals...thanks my dearest gals..

you made mi teared and touch.

didn really sleep enough, woke up and started on with siang birthday surprise celebration..

sor sin yee, my best cousin in the world show up and suprise mi with a very meaningful present that i ever received...this is true kinship..

i refer to celebration so dear eisham insisted to just treat mi eat..

so we went to prego and swissotel, met a very nice gal livin, she was so nice..haha

although i didn wan a cake but they still prepare mi one but they respect for not singing a birthday song..but i love their tots...thank you livin and eisham for that night..

catch a movie , district 9 with yansin, jerome and my dearest sis...

see the differences between the 19s and the 20s...haha

lastly, thank you everyone, i received lots of presents , i am speechless.

i tot it will be the sadest birthday ever but you guys made mi happy and blessed...

hugs and kisses...xoxoxox

change topic ....

ppl who does not respect ppl's pride and value will not get any respects too...

that person should noe who i am talking about clearly.

i don wan to be emo about wat you say anymore, cause deep down, i noe better,

ya perhaps i am not an angel and like wat you say i act as one..

but, my friends and family noe much more better then you do, since after so long tis is wat you noe about mi, then its ok.

no point explaining how poor thing i am being said by you like tat, and i don noe wat you going to tell your friends, i am totally fine with it...cause they don noe mi well, either do you, but let mi tell you tis...i cant do anything to change you , but the reality world and environment will change you.

i might do wrong things before, but i change and stop doing it, and has been trying so hard to gain back your trust..so i dare to say that i didn did anything sorri to you...you are the one who cant let go of the grudge and keep thinking and mentioning it and turning in circles...

but for your case, after everything you do and say to mi, you should be sorri of yourself, cause after so long, you are not changing but turning from bad to worst. i will remember nothing but onli the last few things you tell mi.

and i think you think that saying those things are nothing to you, then by all means go hurt the rest with those things...

I DON THINK I AM GUILTY AT ALL...

human made mistake and i made it too, but at least i change but you refuse to accept the fact , so whoes the one finding fault and making mi suffer...ITS YOU...

THIS IS WAT YOU SAY TO MI, AND NOW I AM RETURNING IT BACK TO YOU...

FUCK OFF ...

2009-08-31T00:52:00.005+08:00

A LOVELY EARLY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION PLANNED BY MY BELOVED GALS...

they surpise mi by showing up by the door steps
before i left home.and i am real touch and i don noe why i am in tears..maybe because i really prepare not to celebrate my birthday but they did it for mi..

i am dared to do 12 task durng the whole outing and you really wont wan to be in my shoe..
but i am happy and pleased that they made an effort to think and to plan..so result to a must to complete the task..firstly to thank them, secondly to enjoy and thirdly to make everyone happy and enjoy ,plus entertain to the fullest..

we headed to mof in bugis for dinner b4 movie...yum yum..to the desserts onli!!!

ok i look like shit here..but i am happy...thats all that matters..

cooperative kids...that why i love kids...

my present from them..and one more top , but that one is to reveal on 5 sep...

oh ya..i also won myself a certificate of completion...

thats end of my celebration..

i totally enjoyed myself and pleased that everyone can make it for this..

my ladies...thank you..be it those that plan or no plan..the still mean alot to mi..

its the tot and heart that counts...

then up next is my mum birthday, due to my stupid sickness, i have to cancel the dinner resevation to the following day and my mum was pretty upset.

i am heartbroken seeing her sad, so me and my sis planned a really last min surprise, which is to bring her to my aunty house and having a cake waiting for her...

she was happy..

then, the next day, i still feel bad, but mother's love make mi able to dress up and we when for hai tien lo, a chinese fine dining restaurant at pan pacific hotel..

she was impressed by the view and environment, it was suppose to be a treat from mi and my sister but my dad was kind enough to sponser half..hehehe

ok..tis is random but these are the pictures taken before my cousin left for swiss..we will miss him badly..!!!and basket he make every one teared for him..haha...

back to the dinner, the lift was very high, i am not afraid of heights..but the lift really freaks mi out...haha
i am scare ok..haha

happy birthday mum, we love you..!

lastly, thanks to my friends and family who make mi feel better for my upcoming birthday...

i am blessed...

2009-08-29T09:47:00.002+08:00

this year wenting's birthday , she wants...

she wants nobody to remember,
she wants nobody to care,
she wants no celebrations,
she wants no parties,
she wants not getting drunk,
she wants no birthday wishes,
she wants no presents,
she wants no birthday cake,
she wants a normal day but just allow wenting to be older one years old,
and lastly, she wants nobody to ask why...

and she is serious...
but she is very very glad and gratful to ppl who had plan ...thank you guys..i love you guys..
but tis year... :) wenting wants nothing...
thanks peaps....
but onli to my sisters out there..
tis sunday is still on..!!!cause thats wat i promise and of cos looking forward to spent my lovely day with you gals..!!!
i am sleepy, tired and not feeling well after mid night shift and now its 10am in the morning..
so...nights!!!

2009-07-23T02:51:00.004+08:00

now that i move out cause of some personal reason, i decided not to be so low profile, and i should be proud cause i should put personal reason aside not as an excue but a chance for mi to be independent..RITE??

after moving out for a while, i learn so many new things,

of cos i will move back cause there is still ppl i need to handle and take care

but i feel a bit relunctant now..shit!!!

there is lots of first time that happen to mi during these days

first time...

-washing clothes,

-doing my own laundry plus folding
-thinking hard to cut down on expenses

-force myself to take bus instead of cab, save money

-shop for my own daily use items( e.g. food )

-clean and tidy my room now and then

-fold my own blankets

-eat onli bread and vita soy every morning

-miss home so badly

-miss cobi like hell

-feel real freedom

-sick but nobody attend to

-bother to sweep my floor

-bath with very limited usage of shampoo and stuff, save money

-throw my rubbish on my own bin

ok ok....you wont understand...!!!

anyway not trying to make you guys pity mi, please don't cause i totally don need that

but feel proud of me being able to look after myself and being independent...yea

ok why i move out..??

reason being, i have too many stuff to handle at home so i decided to take a break before history repeat again...clear??just some personal reasons that i don really like to mention and please don ask why, cause i am not the kind of ppl tat will wan to sit down and pour all my problems out.BIG NO NO

and i realize i get irritated by some things real easily nowadays, unexplainable. but i really got no more space in my brain to think why, so..haha

anyway just some updates about my work place, i love that place more and more each day..

i begin to click well with ppl around better and better after time passes by.

and because i understand the system more, i am not so blur anymore and instead i think i can be a helping hand instead of a burden stone now..hehe

maybe not true la, but thats wat i wanna to achieve during my attachment..!!!

anyway, big big sorri to those tat wanna to meet mi but have to postphone...

i am real sorri, my schedule now is so tight up, i don even have time to pack my stuff and go home, plus i don even have time for facebook too....

ppl who love mi will understand me:) i guess..hehe

ciao...peeps

2009-07-16T00:42:00.010+08:00

tis is wat llife is all about, ups and down...sad to say i am at the down side now, but......
i am still carrying on..!!!

2009-06-30T09:20:00.001+08:00

SHIT I CANT UPLOAD PHOTOS!!!!
anyway.i should be creating a new blog soon:)

2009-06-30T08:59:00.005+08:00

have you ever spit?? please don't
you wont feel a thing till you have the taste of touching it..

yes that right, I TOUCHED IT!!!
i was walking down the freaking stairs while holding on to the hand rail which normal people will and i happen to come across this part where its a bit wet, i thought it was some mist that is being accumulated since its 7 plus in the morning..
BUT......it was not!!!! some idiot actually spit on the hand rail, and that is so dumb seriously.
its like you were walking and suddenly you feel so bored and paranoid that you decided to do something that will release your boredness and you came across this freaking idea that you thought it will be creative, that is to spit on the hand rails but instead its like the most brainless thing ever, and oh ya you got yourself into a situation that for nothing, people start cursing and swearing you to go to hell.

ok but in fact i didnt do that :) cause i am not so low class like those idiot. Instead, i wash my hand immediately due to the thought of having H1N1

now that i am doing mid night shift, i have lots of time to start recalling of what i have being doing in my past, i am so glad i've change alot .
not to be the best but i am still trying to work towards the best.
partying used to be a must for me cause without it, my life feel so empty, but surprisingly now i am adapting to more low profile life:)
i still love to socialize thou..hehe
oh god..its like 9 am and i am still not sleeping..ok i need my sleep..
ciao..!

2009-06-29T02:43:00.002+08:00

I really don know what happen to me..
it seems that i have grow up to be a better person..
i am forcing myself to cut down on clubbing or best quit and even my favourite , smoking!!
WATS WRONG WITH MI..but i am really glad tat i am doing so..cause smoking makes ppl around mi to be in a dangerous environment and i don wan ppl to worry about mi..wenting hates ppl to be worried...:)

and i am really so turn off by ppl who are very materialistic, there are lots and lots of example..think i don have to mention why who and how...
i just don understand how come in this world, ppl with power or money can control everything whereas ppl with nothing have not much rights to say anything..
AND so many ppl are trying so hard to climb to the top not by their own abilities but my eyeing on other ppl's power and money to climb..

i knew that tis world is like tat long long time ago but sometimes i just feel tat human is much more scarier then anything else...

2009-06-29T01:35:00.003+08:00

my life is so boring now..work, sleep work sleep, but luckily i got some good working friends to keep my working life going..

i don't even have extra energy to go anywhere else..

so conclusion is..hotel is not my kind!!!

after this one year of attachment end.i am going to rest for a very long time,

then chiong all the way till i success in what i already plan to do in future

having i plan is so important, and i just don understand how come some ppl can just live without it, won't they feel tat life is meaningless without any specific goals??

but anyway..i have been suffering from insomnia and there is a reason behind it...

and the reason is..i am wondering what will happen if i choose this path and what will happen if i choose that path..

ok sounds complicated..tats is why i cant sleep at night..CAUSE I'M FREAKING SPEND THE WHOLE NIGHT THINKING OF WAT AM I THINKING!!!

i miss so many things..

but like what one of my friend said:"life is too short for fighting and getting hurt" which i totally agrees with it...so happy is the key word which i am now strongly into it..

but a happy person will get tired sometimes too..think about tat..

2009-06-27T03:41:00.003+08:00

alright i noe..its been so so so so long since i last updated..i am so occupied by my attachment at good wood park hotel..haha +++ my internet at home is down..:( so i cant online..but its fixed now!!
just got back home from town..i decided to quit clubbing...maybe not club la..but cut down..
things has been rough for mi..be it rs, family or friends..but life is still going on happily..yeapee....
i will update frequently now...

2009-05-19T11:52:00.002+08:00

haiz...i was being warned not to take mc but today no choice have to take again..

my eyes are super swollen like hell...went to the doc and he say it was eye infection and my both eyes kena..sian!!!i wonder how many days it will stay swollen tis time..

but luckily tml i am having my off day so just one day mc will be enough...i didn even ask for it the doc straight away say.."you today cannot go work ar"..haha..lol

sian tml off..i hope my eyes will get better..so i can go IKEA with baby and my mum!!

its been so long since i wanna to get a drawer to dump all my beauty stuff in it, and its time..

work is much more fun now..cause some ppl tere are real good but of cos.there are ppl tat i dislike...

when i offer help, meant i just wanna to be helpful and makes everyone happy..don ever fucking climb over my head and use mi...i nv say doesnt mean you can climb over my head..i just trying to be mercy cause you don really noe mi yet...

i treat ppl sincerely with my heart and it applies to everyone single one...

but if its taken for granted..then it will be a different story..

for ppl who noe mi long..they noe my pattern..and don ever show off in front of mi..cause SOR BOON TING HATES PPL TAT ARE PROUD AND ALWAYS SHOWING OFF AND DON APPRECIATED WHEN PPL TREAT THEM NICELY..

but then of cos..there are ppl i love working with too..

so moral of the story, don fucking use mi ...

i miss him!!!!

2009-04-14T01:04:00.003+08:00

can you imagine when you feel super unwell, with all the plaghem and stuff stuck in your nose, throat and you feel your head expanding and contracting, your head is aching like hell, eyes feel so blurry, dry and pain too...voice change a bit and keep coughing like a idiot..your ear feel so weird as if you feel tat you are deaf cause you feel air pressure in it just like sitting on the plane , having body aching here and there and feel so tired...instead of having care and concern, ppl ask you to wipe the phone you use with detol, and ask you not to go near them in case the virus spread??

yea..tats wat my work place is all about...and it happen to mi!!!
wonderful team work and morale...i love my working place so much tat i feel like i am working in "heaven" everyday!!!!

and just when you feel tat your family will care about you..??
they nv ever ask how you feel or did you eat your med..they just start nagging at something else..
so at this point of time..the onli thing you will be thinking is..BEING INDEPENDENT AND STRONG to handle all by yourself..

my time is all for attachment, after finish work, go home sleep, wake up work again...i am so tired and lazy..!! no life at all...haiz anyway i am working as a "phone operator" the best job ever that require you to do nthing but to pick up calls and imagine i am so busy in the night tat i keep busy folding paper crane, visiting the washroom, roaming around, and having art classes by drawing and scrabbling..!! busy yea..so don play play with phone operator..haha
I LOVE MY JOB..:)

2009-04-10T20:47:00.006+08:00

after struggling for so long..
i noe you will be fine..and will be happy
because you have your friends and family to be there...
with or without mi makes no differences but onli pain, anger and sadness..
and its time to let go..we have to admit tat it ended long time ago
the word happiness seems so far away for mi..
but the feeling of unappreciated and being the pain in the ass is always in my mind
i noe you will be fine..

i am feeling so fuck up with my family shit tat cause mi to rush home straight and you give mi tis kind of shit..seriously..you are so understand..just fuck off!!

one more time and i swear i am leaving home!

2009-04-05T22:06:00.005+08:00

i got back from taiwan and starting work tmr at good wood park hotel!! i am excited..

the sad thing is, due to my greediness , i ate too much things in taiwan, i started having sore throat, coughing and now i lost my voice..i totally cant talk tis morning but it gets better at the later part and now..i am having sexy deep voice...muhahaha

just before i went taiwan, we have lots of farewell gathering going on..we are leaving shatec..:( and i am leaving all my good friends in shatec and i just cant bear tat seperation..
i will really miss all the fun we had, all the silly, stupid but memorable memories we had in school and all the outings we had..

i was totally high and drunk the night b4 i went taiwan, i didn even pack my bag, my sister help mi pack my luggage to taiwan..i reach home 4 plus and i didn puke till 7 in the morning.. i feel like shit..
i cant even walk properly but finally i manage to puke and tat makes mi feel slightly better b4 i left home to airport..

taiwan was freaking cold for mi and i arrived there in shorts..huge mistake..i was shivering all the way to the hotel...
then i started wearing 3 shirts on every day when i was there..but i am still cold..haha

it was a very rush trip but i still enjoy it with the company of my family members..
second visit is a must for mi...and the second one will be a long and a more crazy one..!!

there are too much pictures so the pictures are all on my facebook, including the farewell pic...
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=98358&id=764628409&saved#/photos.php?id=764628409
sleeping early tonight and keeping my finger cross tat my sexy voice will be gone cause i am starting from FRONT OFFICE AND I NEED MY VOICE BACK!
ciaos.!!!

2009-03-28T14:53:00.000+08:00

		http://www.mp3lyrics.org/vIFA

Mariah Carey I Stay in Love Lyrics: Oh oh ooh ooh Oh oh ooh ooh Oh oh oh ooh ooh Oh oh ooh ooh Oh oh ooh ooh Oh oh oh ooh ooh Oh baby Baby, I stay in love with you Dying inside cause I can't stand it Make or break up Can't take this madness We don't even really know why All I know is baby I try and try so hard To keep our love alive If you don't know me at this point Then I highly doubt you ever will I really need you to give me That unconditional love I used to feel It's no mistaking We're just erasing From our hearts and minds And I know We said let go But I kept on hanging on Inside I know it's over You're really gone It's killing me Cause there ain't nothing That I can do Baby, I stay in love with you And I keep on telling myself That you'll come back around And I try to front like "Oh well" Each time you let me down See I can't get over you now No matter what I do But baby, baby I stay in love with you Na na na na na na na na na [ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/vIFA ] Na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na Baby, I stay in love with you It cuts so deep It hurts down to my soul My friends tell me I ain't the same no more We still need each other When we stumble and fall How we gon' act Like what we had Ain't nothin' at all now Hey, what I wanna do is Ride shotgun next to you With the top down like we used to Hit the block Proud in the SU We both know our heart is breaking Can we learn from our mistakes I can't last one moment alone Now go I know We said let go But I kept on hanging on Inside I know it's over You're really gone It's killing me Cause there ain't nothing That I can do Baby, I stay in love with you And I keep on telling myself That you'll come back around And I try to front like "Oh well" Each time you let me down See I can't get over you Now no matter what I do but Baby, baby I stay in love with you We said let go But I kept on hanging on Inside I know it's over You're really gone It's killing me Cause there ain't nothing That I can do Baby, I stay in love with you And I keep on telling myself That you'll come back around And I try to front like "Oh well" Each time you let me down See I can't get over you Now no matter what I do But baby, baby I stay in love with you I stay in love Love Oh, I stay in love.

2009-03-19T23:18:00.009+08:00

it the first time i lost my confident in doing it..
and the feeling sucks..
first time in my life i felt tat.i might not be able to make up for it..and turn back how i use to be
and i think i am trying to hard but end up its just disappointment..
they say use my energy for it...but my ans is..i alr used up my energy and lost my confident.how am i suppose to move on like how i use to be..??
sad, disappointed, afraid, will be the word for it.
i wan it..but how when i alr lost everything..

2009-03-18T22:46:00.002+08:00

do you all feel afraid b4?? rite tis moment..I DO!
tis is a first time i am really afraid, afraid that things might get out of my control..i always tot tat things, emotions, lifestyle, ppl around mi that play a role in my life are not scary..cause i can noe wat is rite and wat is wrong..untill i come across god's will.
fear of someone leaving you especially your really loves one..someone who really take care and onli one who is sincere and truthful to you...tis freaks mi out...
i really cant imagine and i refuse to even think about it..but i noe..tis day will come..soon or later..just tat i am not ready..i am afraid tat i don have the chance to express to tat person and tell him...how much i will miss him.
ppl say he is getting skinner, lost appetite and looks tired...but i keep saying no he didnt!! am i lying to myself or just trying to convince myself with lies??
i hate lies..but all of the sudden..i feel like living in a world full of lies..!!
we talk about it again today..out of the sudden, i cant control my tears onces again..
i am really looking forward to the taiwan trip..cause after so many years..finally we have a chance to travel together again..i thanks god for that..
but thinking of the reason for the trip, it just turn happiness into disaster.
it might be the last trip, and tats when the fear pops in..

2009-03-17T00:47:00.012+08:00

friday night , went to supper club to chill abit..
photos are in super lousy quality cause my phone is cooperating with mi..

sat night, went to rebel...the music was nice tat night..
after tat went to find coco for a talk...not really a talk, but is supper..haha and the tom yum soup sucks!!!!
headed to kenneth house for a while and they finish all the liquor..haha impressive!!
was tired to death when i reach home..

when to IT ROAD ShoW and my sister got her laptop and i got myself a camera and a music player..finally i got them..i have been eyeing for one months ago..and i am happy with the two new product tat i just bought.

headed down to balcony to interview mr grant ong..for project uses..
not a formal interview cause i cant be formal with him ar..haha
he was kind enough to treat us COKE..haha..
and stupid him..nv tell mi he is attach..!!grrrr...

after wasting the whole afternoon, finally we went to my mum client's club house for dinner and i met lots of high n ppl, like famous movie and advertisment producer, 1992 internationl champaign for badminton, and a famous radio station DJ's friends..
glad to noe them..and the condo was very nie and relaxing..LOVE IT!

then we went to watch a new movie called"departure" the story was nice but i didn like it at all..cause it about death and ppl leaving the world..its not a horror movie, more like a documentary show about death..my dad keep asking our whole family to watch and i feel tat he is trying to hint us something...tat makes mi feel so uneasy and heart ach.

COUSIN OUTING AGAIN..FUN FUN FUN
its been long since we planned our cousin outing...finally we get to meet up and talk craps onces again..headed straight to the cathay after school and we had our dinner settled at aston(a super cheap and nice western restaurant)

when to find pat for a little chat..she seems to enjoy her new work..although i know time pass not very fast over there..but i believe she is good at self entertaining....two thumbs up..!

i cant imagine if mi and my cousins meet up every single day or even for the whole day..
i believe if is the whole day..we will have
breakfast
brunch
lunch
high tea
dinner
supper..HAHAA
WE JUST CANT STOP EATING..we were full but we still went for dou hua.!!it was fantastic:)

we had a planned on mind, next outing we will be playing a food game
we have to travel around singapore to eat different kinds of food and we need to solve the food link puzzle and we will be grouped in groups of 2...it look like taiwan game show..
it will definitely be fun, and the ebst part is..i get to eat without ppl keep saying tat i am like a pig..cause its all for the game..haha
ciao...!

2009-03-08T14:10:00.009+08:00

i am finally a bit free and my friends wanna to bring mi out to relax after so much stuff tat happened..
friday was a busy day, headed to school, then got myself to sign contract at goodwoodpark hotel.
then i went to bras besar to meet my gals to buy something.then headed down to gerrx house for project, lastly we went to alley bar to chill and to relax a bit..

my dog is so lazy..

stay home for the whole day, wanna to go rebel but sudden change of plan to justin house..
for some drinks, wee and poker game

we are going to hotel soon, feel so sad...we cant have a full class together anymore..hate the feelning of seperation...

life is always full of shocking news..it just whether you can take it a not..
life is nv fair..even god

2009-03-04T18:54:00.003+08:00

sorri peeps...i have been real tired and busy these few days..wont be able to turn up for school and stuff and going to go mia for a while..anything just call mi..both my no. also can.
sorri to push away all dates and appointment..have impt things to settle before i have the mood to party and have fun again..i hope i can party soon , cause onli if i can party..then everything is fine
ciaos!!!!

2009-02-27T18:49:00.004+08:00

my gals came to my house and do the stupid project..at least tis time we did something instead of keep playing non stop..
i cooked spagetti for them and i think it still ok..hope they enjoy it.althought is like chinese style..haha, aiya..i am a chinese ma.!

my cute sisters..i don noe wat they are doing but while doing our project at my house.. they seems to enjoy sending mi these!!

friday night..i decided to stay home and cook PANCAKE!!
erm..nice try i guess??
i did make a mess but i manage to clean it up too..

my first attempt and it was such a failure..the whole thing was suck at the pan!and i threw it away..

the second pieces was still ok..at least can be eaten

erm..althought it look like shit..but i think its EATABLE!

PLUS A CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE.
.
wow..heavenly supper for mi..
simple yet yummy!

i have nv regret anythings i do..
but tis time..i regret from the bottom of my heart..if it really happens, then everything is too late to change..ppl will tell mi, its ok.you still have time..but my ans will be..no i don have time..its not enough..and its too late, if really happen i will regret forever..trust mi!
i always say..just smile , be happy and everything will be fine, i am smiling and trying to be happy..will everything be fine??
although tats the case..but i am still smiling..

2009-02-23T23:06:00.006+08:00

haha..cobi did a nice job by shiting at my sis room..
while he was shiting, my sis carry him up and pass the bed..tis is why there was one shit on the floor and one shit on the bed..

before heading for rebel.

the next day..interview for swiss hotel merchant court..

met my gals at holland village for project and then SUSHI TEI..god..i love jap food..
just look at the salmon.ok..i start drooling..!

friday night was a crazy night..club hopping thru out the whole night..
we got in to zirca first, the Marrakesh then rebel, the double o then rebel again..
i think we spend the whole night traveling here and there..

school on monday..tiring..!

everyone is getting interview and obviously i didn have much interview..of cos i feel sad
but its ok..everything should be fine..
sound like i am self conforting myself..haha
i have been feeling like shit nowadays..all my questions i ask myself seems to have no answer to it and i hate tat feeling..

2009-02-19T23:53:00.009+08:00

it was koko birthday...
went to mark house and had a bbq session..
lots and lots of ppl turn up and we did had fun..
headed to rebel after the party...tis time round i was sober...:)

my life is so meaningless rite now..and i had got to do something to it..
meeting my gals on 25..looking forward to it..miss them like crazy!
project period is here again..i swear tat i wont allow history to repeat..no more 20 plus hours chionging of projects non stop..
god i still remember how my ladies ton at my house the two days, we talk, eat, sleep and hug with the laptop..!tat was crazy..oh yea..jerome and yansin were kind enough to help mi out with the swot analysis..
sleepy rite now..lots of things in mind, just cant get them off..
i received a msg from london!!i teared in joy..and tats was the most stupid behavior i had in front of my dearest friends...but i am enjoying it!:p OH YA SHIT..I FORGET TO REPLY!
ciao...!

2009-02-17T19:17:00.010+08:00

anyway..i got interview for swiss hotel for attachment..
wish mi luck!!

i spent my v day at rebel..haha..
met netha, aikho pat and jaslin and went to slack a balcony also to find grant...
then headed to rebel to party..
went home around 3 plus 4..was so shag and high..!!
pat send mi home..love her..!!!

i did enjoy my lonely v dy after all..

2009-02-14T17:20:00.000+08:00

still remember about how i celebrated valentine day last year..
it was memorable..
tis year i am alone..but i still got ppl tat i love and tat love mi..!!!
received lots of v day msg and i felt loved too!!!
sorry for saying no but i choose not go anywhere with anyone and prefer to stay at home..
don wanna to stay on the street watching everyone with flowers but seeing them happy will make mi happy too..but also sad too..
using lappy now..watching online movies..simple but i don feel bored at all!!!
i am happy for all my friends tat didn manage to have a date last year and manage to have a bf or date tis year..seeing them laugh and filled with happiness makes mi pleasaed inside..
there is alot and i think you guys noe who i am talking about..:)
HAPPY V DAY PPL!!!!!
LOVE EVERYONE AROUND YOU DEEPLY AND APPRECIATED THEM...CHERISH THEM..

2009-02-12T14:20:00.000+08:00

pictures taken in netha's shop..

our world kindest uncle's birthday and tis was his present..haha

after tat..i went for iterview at new majestic hotel..

i can really be boomster le..haha

you don wanna to noe wat rubbish i reply the hotelier...

went to jurong point to do our project, market research first..

plus enjoying thai food..but it gave mi huge problem after tat..as usual..gastric problem..

went to rebel on ladies night

ok..i was tispy and i wanna to puke..

reach home at 5 am..

super slag and having real bad headach..

woke up at 12pm and saw tis wonderful package on my table..

immediately i jump out of bed..

my 120 eye shadow palette from ebay is here!!!!!!!

my favourite rite now.althougt i haven start using it..

valentine day today...

enjoy with your love one yea..

and go all it all the way!!!BE THE MAN..DO THE RIGHT THING!!

tats wat bongo says..haha

2009-02-08T16:45:00.000+08:00

siang came to my house and i started crazy doing my resume, took mi hours and hours..
finally i completed, and to reward myself, we cooked spaghetti..
it was so nice!!but...instant sauce..hehe

i look fat in tis pic..haha but who cares!!

sat, mum bought us to facial..super pain when she start clearing my pores..ouch.!!feel like punching her..but i noe she is just doing her job...:)

then i met baobei, wanted to watch benjamin button, but the ticket were all sold out, so we watch 'love matter'..we did had a good laugh..haha

when to balcony after tat, then followed by rebel...rebel was packed with humans last night, and saw lots of friends...
but i went home early cause i am having problems with my gastric again!

slacking at netha's shop b4 the movie started..

anyway.to ppl out there..if you cant stand wat i am talking..then no need to come visit my blog..it is so lame, its my blog, i write watever i wan and DO WATEVER I WAN TO IT..pls be friendly to it, if wanna to give nasty comments or assuming stuff..then i suggest you just fuck off...cause you are not welcome here..
apply to ppl who don respect tis blog ONLI..
sorri for being harsh...

2009-02-07T02:34:00.000+08:00

things has been getting rougher...
didn really enjoy it, kind of hate it now..
why things just cant be right,
feelings tat can nv be understood..
if i can rewind time..i will choose not to let anything happen, but to go on with my boring yet happy life, without this and tat..
having something sometimes, will lead to losing everything, now i experience it..

my gastric is killing mi nowadays..maybe there are holes in my tummy..haha
the pain makes mi wake up almost every night around 4 - 6 am..i cant even have a good night sleep...i finish all my medicine and i just keep forgetting to purchase new one..god!!

met miss wong jia yan at plaza mac..
wanna to go clark quay but plan was being cancel..
at least i spent more time with my pretty sister.!
we slacked here and there..haha everywhere!!!

then she came to my house and we start having
gals talk and doing gals things...hehe

i miss my gals..i haven seen them for ages..!!
i miss out on their steamboat gathering cause i have things to attend too..:(

my b4 and after make up"table"

my old and new bed

these are my walls...

see the differences in them??

painting my whole room, buying new stuff for my room was really tiring but it was fun and motivating..i spent maybe 1 week plus 2 weeks to finish all the brushing and painting..

but it took mi quite some time to put up all the decors and items i bought...

after painting..i have to go back to gym to exercise my left arm, cause they are so not balanced!!

maybe next few years i might wanna to come up with designs tat are more cosy and romantic concept...its not really nice yet..but so far..i enjoy staying on my bed, admiring my effort...

2009-02-05T02:29:00.000+08:00

pictures found at www.nightlifebali.com

bongo came to singapore!!
bought him to rebel for partying...

bring him to places like balcony, town area, bukit timah, my house party....etc
went to baobei house for steamboat then went to party world for some singing!!

2009-01-25T17:12:00.000+08:00

mr keltner treat us to the cathey billy bombers for dinner and we really clean his pocket for him.
its his old birthday and he wanna to treat us.!
btw..he is our supervisor for p.a mart...
they went to movie after tat but i headed to rebel to look for netha...

when home early, was so tired and suffering from stupid gastric..!
preparing for new year now..busy busy busy, arranging all my stuff and packing the house..
planning for tis and tat..haha
have a great week ahead and HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
ciaos~~~~

2009-01-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

went to celebrate mark birthday,
straight after school,went home change ,sleep for 30 mins and rush down to meet netha..
slack at que pasa near center point area..
meet lots and lots of new friends...drink some wines and headed down to rebel for part 2
didn stay long..
mark opened 5 bottles if i am not wrong..
old mark is now!!!!28 years old..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY..MARK..

2009-01-16T22:05:00.000+08:00

went to meet my gals at far east for some shopping..didn buy anything..not in the mood to shop..
wanted to club but wasnt feeling well tonight so instead we went to balcony.
feeling so hard to breathe pass few days.but miss fit wenting is back on track now and ready to go again!!!anyway when to aikho house for steamboat session and some gathering...watch kung pow..om..laugh till i wana to die le.:)

my sis is so sweet..she send mi to fun nan it mall to meet my gfs b4 going to town but i still need to pay $10..haha

went to balcony to slack and to find grant..haha

i still like the pic we took in bali!!

the big guys.!

grant and ron

my pretty ladies

oh..these picture were taken the day b4 i fly to bali.baobei company mi to change money and do my hair..and she cut her hair..haha.
i love her hair now!!she looks younger, more energetic , refreshing and prettier!!

haha..look at her..so fuuny

i am making a fool too..

fuck!!i took lots of make up but didn see the price..when i found out i cant take them back.,its already been key in.
all these make up from make up store cost $667 sing dollar...althought mum pay for it..
but mi and my sis were being nag from vivo all the way back home..
sorri mum..i really didn noe its tat much..!

countdown for 2009..went for steamboat, then esplanade for firewok..then slack and chilled..
simple and sweet!

eugene birthday celebration..finally 18!!!
but its like so many days ago..its on the jan 3..hehe..
went to rebel..and i found out he can be a good drinker..:)potential one..haha

PART 1 IN BALI..using han's cam

bali part 2 using han's cam

bali using evi's cam

bali trip is definately one of the coolest trip i had,
we party,drink,smoke,play,shop,slack non stop for 4 full days..
i didn bear to come back to singapore..haha
when the plane touch down..i was like..."erm...back to my boring life!"

had sun burn but not tat bad..not really obvious..
went to try out water sport, played banana boat, motor jet, parasailing and flying fish..
party for full three night,their party get started at 1 plus so we played till 6 am plus everyday and wake up early to travel again...
but didn really had enough time for all the place we wanted to go.i swear i will return my visit again.
shopping there is heaven..everything is super cheap and lots of variety..
the ppl there are so kind and friendly, we make friends everywhere we go..
even going massage, we made friends there..haha
oh yea.
the massage there is really heavenly nice and effortable..
its like 130 000 rp for hot shower, manicure and pedicure, full body massage for 2 hours, plus i forget wat le..for onli 13 to 14 sing dollar..can you imagine!!!!
hotel was great too...feel so home there and cosy with friend staffs and nice surrounding...we can just take anything we need, like ice, glass etc..
they will help but by taking ourselves made us feel so cosy and warm..plus HOME
they even allow us to cook if we buy our own ingredient..
after all the mess we made, we can just go back to our hotel room and they will clean it up for us..
swimming and relaxing at our pool is two thumbs up..
the staff keep asking us to jump down from second story so mi and grant tried..haha
it was crazy and fun..
drinking and smoking at the pool side, making so much noise..
go back to hotel,prepare and go club again..
when to tanan lot..its a temple beside the ocean..the wave is huge and strong..so high and fierce..
:)
three thumbs up for bali..
good choice to relax and chill with friends to create bonding..
problems and troubles are all threw behind us..!
onli thing we are looking forward is ..wat to do next and where to go..
I MISS BALI!!!

2009-01-01T14:57:00.001+08:00

went in to malaysia the night b4 and set off early to genting highland

it was super cold and windy..

our belongings!!

while waiting to check in..

finally we manage to get our room and it was nice

with a very unique toilet,
we can go in thru the wardrobe, it is link...feel so unsafe while bathing!!

we had 5 rooms...but still not enough place to sleep
so..very poor thing..we must move the bed down into a double king size bed

vaining b4 going out for a walk

old town coffee was good, smell nice
and it feel good to have a hot coffee in such cold environment

ya la.tis is my handsome cousin, shun cheng

it was super cold.really cold, it think around 11 degree

outdoor time!

it was real crowded and too misty so we didn have chance to play...

we were so lazy q-ing plus it damn cold..
so.......

lots of pic to entertain ourselves

haha.i think we are the onli adult sitting on the elephant

the two crazy chen brothers..haha..wanna to act as my bf..!!

we were so excited waiting for our next turn but,,shit!!
it started to rain..after q-ing for god noes how long,
we had to go out..cursing and swearing to the corkscrew!

no more emoing...
and we started fighting against the wind and rain.
we nearly fly off..haha

tis stupid ride nearly cost my death!!!
it go crazy and out of control..lots of ppl cry on the ride
i didnt but my leg turn jelly after coming down..
i swear its my first and last time on it

we decided not to give up so we q for the second time
but fuck..same thing happen
next turn its us and it started raining again!
but due to the stubbornness, we still continue to,q hoping the rain will stop
but it ended..instead its getting bigger and bigger

just look at tis,..
my toe,hands and mouth are all numb!
we are all drench,wet,cold and tired..
just imagine,wet and a windy weather, around 11 degree and
WE ARE ALL WET!

shivering from the ride to hotel!

after a super cold nature bath...i turn myself into chunli.!

MY EXTREME MAKE OVER(11 YEARS OLD TO 18)
because of the m18 show IPMAN

i love the movie IP MAN!!ITS my second time watching and i still love it

finally after 3 days 2 night..we made our way back to jb

and bought make ups from genting..!!

25dec 2008
christmas day...
went to aikho house for a house party..
b4 tat..preparing food at baobei house

ok..i noe how i look..but its all for the smell sake!

uncle joanthan 's dog...don doubt..vir is super horny..!!

23 dec 2008 celebration with my gfs
plus present giving

we were all crazy!

the kissable lips..hahaha

xoxoxoxoxo

the production of bread...

ok finally i finish part 1!!!!
anyway Christmas eve was happening and fun too,
had house party and my house, then rebel at Clark quay
the music was popping good!and they open champagne and Martel..
battery was flat, after reaching home at 4 plus 5 am...

but didn manage to take pic cause no camera tat day
so just imagine:)

2008-12-29T23:39:00.000+08:00

i am still stuck in malaysia ..cant go home...
no more empty seats for mi le.
have been in malaysia $for 5 days le, and will be back soon.
three days in genting and it was quite a experience with lots of weird and happening things.
lots of pic and incident happened..
shall update when i reach SINGAPORE!
anyway..it was still a fun trip...but too bad alot of ppl were absent for tat trip :(
think we had 26 ppl going and we share 5 rooms from resort hotel..
love the room,love the weather but hate getting drench and i became the rain god of malaysia!haha

2008-12-26T01:41:00.000+08:00

tis few two weeks is crazy for mi...
super busy and pack..
had a fun christmas but its totally different from last year..
cause something is mising..
but overall i stil enjoy it
i am so tired
and i definately need some beauty sleep...
working tml and genting trip again..tis time with my cousins..for three days..
lots of pic to be upload but now..
i going to bed..so..
haha...
ciao!!

2008-12-18T16:43:00.000+08:00

If love was a bird, then we wouldn't have wings,
If love was a sky, we'd be blue,
If love was a choir, you and I could never sing,
Cuz love isn't for me and you
If love was an oscar, you and I could never win,
Cuz we could never act out our parts
If love is the bible, then we are lost in sin,
Cuz it's not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life
And I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well
And I'll be fine
Cuz we're better off...seperated

If love was a fire, then we have lost the spark,
Love never felt so cold
If love was the light, then we're lost in the dark,
Left with no one to hold
If love was a sport, we're not on the same team,
You and i are destined to lose
If love was an ocean, then we are just a stream,
Cuz love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life
And I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well
And I'll be fine
Cuz we're better off...seperated

BoyI know we had some good times,
It's sad but now, we gotta say goodbye,
Boy you know I love you, I can't deny,
You can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I,
I know it hurts, so much but it's best for us,
Somewhere along this windy road you know we lost the trust,
So I'll walk away, so you don't have to see me cry,
It's killing me, so, why don't you go
Cuz we're better off, so much better off

Go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life
I'll live mine
You'll do well
And I'll be fine

Cuz we're better off, soooo much beeeeetter off
So much better off...
Seperated

I'm sorry we didn't make it

(inspired by netha)
every night, teary moments
everytime songs were played, painful moment
at least i noe one thing..
every sec of our past, happy memories..:)

2008-12-16T13:28:00.000+08:00

tis is for you shorty~

fuck tat short uncle in my mum office..
he is a shorty tat rent a table and a com in my mum office to use..cause he is so pathetic tat he doesnt have his own desktop to use..even table must rent..

why do i say till so harsh...??
BECAUSE.

i went to my mum office to work tis morning and cause got three empty tables..so i choose the one behind my aunt..
my mum did ask mi not to sit..but i don noe the reason..so i didn move.
then the shorty came and he saw mi sitting on his table, his super black and long face appeared

i felt pai seh to sit on his place..then i stilll smile at him then say sorri sincerely
despite my smile and apologise..he still stared at mi as if i own him money..!!crazy.
like tat still ok..i treat it as nothing happen cause i am at fault in the first place, althought i apoplgise le..but i just treat it as he is too petty..

then i shift to the table behind him..
the suddenly bang his kepboard very loud and turn around and look at mi..
then say he com cannot open le..
then he ask my aunt.then my aunt ask mi..
i say very loudly"i didn touch his desktop lo!"
then he keep diao mi for nothing...
so childish lo.how old le..still wanna to play tis kind of game.

then i tell my mum..let mi go home..i will come work tml when he is not here...cause i don wan to quarrel with him in your office..then my mum's client sent mi home..
i still wanna to be nice and noe him more when i first see him..end up onli god noe he is such a sick childish fucker..!
hahahaha
but..lame ar..because of him don go work..i definately wont let my mum in difficult position but one more time of his unreasonable..i will not give in le.!

2008-12-14T22:09:00.000+08:00

went to balcony and found out tat miss netha have nv ending stock..should share ma.ah

went to airport to study productivity studiesand we rock the airport..

celebrated ah ma birthday early..and can you believe the next day is my history paper..haha
so of cos.i totally screw the paper..cause i nv study at all..hah

see how happy myah ma is.@!cause she have so many grandsons and daughter to spend tis special evening

finally..finish my exams..
erm..i give myself 200 marks cause i nv really study much tis term..haha
ytd was a nightmare again..but today is a great day..cause ah qi sis's baby tirvan is 1 month old le!!!
and BAOBEI..JIA YOU...
YOU WONT FALL..CAUSE I WLL BE AT YOUR BACK HOLDING YOU UP HIGH.TILL YOU CAN STAND YOURSELF ONE DAY..

2008-12-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

i am bored.!!
i love my room now..just tat i still need to put up all the light and arrange it properly again..but i kind of miss my oldroom outlook haha..
when to find han and yan together with shi today and bought a bluetooth earpiece for mi mum, she really need it..cause i was nearly killed cause she wanted to pick up a phone call using speaker!!
then next stop..studying time plus killing brain cells moments...

stop fucking using mi you idiot!!
don ever try to indirectly get ans from mi by asking mi questions anymore..you think i am stupid..pls i am much more smarter then you think..and come on,way more smarter then you too
one more time and you can say bye to yourself!!

2008-12-05T18:03:00.000+08:00

its been long since i last blogged.
has been a super month with super lots of projects and program..
things kind of getting more and more complicated..
its driving mi nuts and insane..
i am confuse and lost..
god..show mi light..haha
then i walk myself...
next week like be exam week..its all gonna be heavy subjects..hate it.
but love it..cause after tat..BALI..HERE I COME..
4 DAYS 3 NIGHTS..CRAZY PAMPERING MYSELF WITH THE SPA, BEACHS, RESORTS AND ENVIRONMENT THERE...later come back become roasted pig..haha..with weird sun burn patch everywhere...smile..!!haha

toshiba show tis time was erm..rather sian.
but its wasnt too bad or mi but for my gals...cause i onli worked for 1 day out of three days..
sales was ok..but i think workng for the show now, sales is important but teamwork is also one of the primary objective le..cause without it..morale will be low and everything will turn out to be a big SIAN!!!BUT..I STILL LOVE WORKING WITH MY GALS ESPECIALLY THE CARE THEY GIVE MI WHEN I WAS NOT FEELING WELL..touch and wanna to cry le..haha because of mi they can stop selling laptop and company mi to the toilet and make friends with the toilet bowl..tis is wat true friendship is all about RATHER THEN JUST SAYING THIS AND THIS BUT YOU ARE DOING THOSE SH ITTY THINGS BEHIND MY FUCKING BACK!!
GOT MY MEANING??

2008-11-13T18:24:00.000+08:00

have no where to go now..
so we try out the club tat my friend always mention
ARENA!
it was fun and we really manage to rock the dance floor by having fun on the stage handling the crowd..
its over tat night..so no one is suppose to say anything after seeing tis post..i don wanna to hear a thing anymore..
MORE PICTURES IN FRIENDSTER!!

next day outing with my gals...and i was HANGOVER..SHIT!

with to hkcafe then wanted to go balcony but change to plaza mac....haha

and we slack there.

2008-11-04T21:25:00.000+08:00

PRINCIPLE OF FREEDOM??

THERE IS NONE!

i am so bored at struck at the stupid cost control homework...really going to squeeze out my brain juice le..!!!
i think i have not been saying exactly wat i have been feeling for the past few days..
have been hiding all the while and don intend to let it out either..i am training myself to self-control once again..hard but i believe i can stand up again..
the truth is..for quite some time, i had not been sleeping well in the night. Sometimes can even sleep at 5 plus am and wake up at 6 plus for school...
i feel so confuse with everything..really everything..! my life,my rs, my fs, my family, my school, my future..
things tat i no need to think i also go think..and the worst is..they are all not positive thinking..and its hard for mi..cause i nv once been thru it b4.. but HELL NO MORE FOR MI...i am happy with my life now, although sometimes i cant be but i don care..i will still entertain myself to make life easier..
there is so many things i wanna to say to a few ppl..but when i face them..i got nothing to say anymore and i think its not important anymore..because i don need ppl to know how i think.

SO FUCK SAD LIFE..THEY CAN NV ENTER MI..

2008-11-02T00:53:00.000+08:00

tiing but fun wekends!!!

jackie..

drei..

wenting..

jaslin..

evi

i am being bully..or the other way round?

tis two crazy gal..have been crazy since the start of the day

thai food at bugis..a secret place being discovered..

the food there is very very good and SPICY...thats why there is a tissus box there..!

the following day..

when to watch REC..thr front part was boring and giddy..cause it was all recorded...

but the middle part to the end is totally like crazy..

this is the first movie tat made mi scream out loud..really loud in cinema for alot of time..

think the guy beside mi was not being scare by the movie but my mi due to my big actions..!!opps..sorri..hahaha

next stop, balcony..

bitching inside the cab..

shopping with mum..

buy and buy and buy..

still got two bags from c&k

and more!!!!!!

shocking news are always shocking..

just like wat i heard..

actually i don feel anything anymore, cause i am used to it..

but your actions really makes mi sick..!

if you have the guts to do it..then come on..have the guts to say..

don just say you are tis but actually you are that..

i am just being kind and think tat doing those isnt necessary and i am not tat fake and cunning, if not..you are dead.!

i don care wat other ppl say.. but definately not from you..

PS:I NOE WAT YOU ARE DOING,EVERYONE HAS ITS MAX.. I AM WATCHING YOU..

2008-10-27T15:23:00.001+08:00

top one singing when drei first come and we met..

when to little india to buy liquor for netha 21th birthday celebration..
had a henna too..but stupid..drop in just a few hours

went to aikho house to do spring cleaning..but..the truth is..we didn really help much..opps

ok.i look super ugly..but..haha..so.

our marina of the day...

sat...when to east coast to help netha and also attend the celebration..omg..she is high man..and i believe she definately enjoy herself..
shit la..being thrown into the sea twice...
and we had to spent overnight there cause i came out a brillant idea by renting overnight bike till 8 am..and i was being nagged..haha cause of my smart idea..

orginal plan was to start till sunday morning and continue partying for cousin gathering till evening..luckily they are kind enough to change to dinner at marine square..had some rest..

chocolate foudle is the best..
call mi mountain tortoise tis is my first time eating it..and i love it..
should be with bf ar..but i love it with cousins..haha

we did a clean job..eugene contribute alot but using a spoon to DIG
haha

didn noe esplanade had such nice night view..
start thinking about stuffs.

next outing..
1)east coast
2)pulau ubin
3)sentosa..
see how first..haha

2008-10-21T03:01:00.000+08:00

the first time i saw you was at the second floor of bukit batok mac..you were studying with two friends, one guy one gal. You all were so seriously studying but that time my and evi was so busy talking and having fun although the books is in front of us..then i start knowing that you existed..

then we had hotel law lesson, your class and mine class was combine and i saw you again..
tat time i tot you were attach so i didn give pay attention to it.
suddenly there was once you were ask to pass mi wine opener by your classmate and we officially speak.
i was attracted to you cause you are unlike other guys. At least you start noeing mi thru msn instead of smsing. i was so comfortable talking to you and then we met for the very first movie"30 days of night" that was when everything started.

you still remember what had we done for the pass 11 months.
every single memories is deeply craved inside and nv to be forgotten.
just remember wat i say in the msg i send you last time, read it and absorb it..cause its was i wanna to tell you and wanna you to always remember.
trust mi, you are not the onli one who feel the impact, because i am one of them too..
there are just too many things left unspoken and too many things happen to mi.

ps:i love you.

一切早开始了

一切却还未辉煌

触摸到手指

不代表敲动她心房

我爬到高山的一半

想要回头怎么办

风撼动我的肩膀

汗揪着我的衣裳

谁愿意失败失败再失败

谁高兴期盼期盼再期盼

我是个痛也不会说出口的人

我是个贪心也注定要不到的人

你恋恋过我

就像花依赖树尖

但风轻轻的吹

时候到幸福却枯萎

我是个爱也不会说清楚的人

我是个懦弱也还在拼拼看的人

火熊熊了眼

别太快灰飞湮灭

荣耀若值钱

我不会掉下泪

痛也不说出口的我

不怕掉下泪

2008-10-19T23:46:00.001+08:00

17 oct 2008

its our day...but......
anyway..happy anni my gals..
i wan more udon..hahaha
miss the blackjack too..!!!!

loves!!!!!

2008-10-16T21:08:00.000+08:00

I NEED A JOB..!!
GOING TO HAVE MY OWN SPACES soon.,,SUPER EXCITED
anyone have lobang..pls tell mi..thanks a lot!

pictures tat should be updated long time ago..
sun was another gals day with my galfriends...

2008-10-09T17:35:00.000+08:00

going to someone's cremation is the most painful thing tat everyone will face..
i went to his yesterday..
no word can describe tat kind of pain,sadness and hurt feeling..
looking at how belbel sis handling her emotions..
she was strong
but just before the body was gone forever and being pushed into fire..
she no longer can control,
jemery, jie jie love you and will miss you, rest in peace(in a crying and shouting tone)
tis phrase i will nv forget..till now.. everything tat happen tat day is deeply craved into my brain..
when ever i recalled, tears drop.

it was so hard to let them close the door and push him into the fire..
belbel sis..lifted her hand and tried to reach, but he is no longer reachable..
before leaving the viewing hall, she waved to him and say bye bye..

pain..really pain, so pain to left someone go forever..but i believe he is up there watching ppl he loves especially aunty molly and belbel sis..

it is confirmed tat popo had stomach cancer, last stage.
i prayed so hard, but nothing came true.
i no longer wanna to express how i feel after hearing the new..
rite now..
the onli thing i will do is to acompany her as much as i can and don let her worry about mi..
i am so afraid to lose her..so afraid..'

2008-10-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

its been a tough week..
received a sudden call from my sister..
my nanny's son was dead without any reasons...he just collapse..
had a tough time spending the rest of my time staying in class acting nothing happen, so i broke down and cry..
all of the sudden..all the memories we had b4 just flash pass my mind..
and imagine how my nanny going to accept the fact..
i am so worry for her.but i cant be there for her at tat point of time..
went to the funeral with a very very heavy and uneasy feeling.
when i reach there..like what i expected..she really break down and cried, she was so pain and hurt..it was too sudden for her to accept the fact tat her son left her at the age of onli 27.
she has been crying non stop from morning till night hugging his son pillow.
i can feel the pain she was going thru and it definitely affect mi seriously..
i promise not to cry but i cant..tears just rolled down as i see the situation there,how aunty molly broke down and fainted and as i walked pass jeremy kor kor's peaceful body..
it was really so unexpected..till now..i cant stop thinking of the days we once spent together and how aunty molly doted her son..
my heart is full of different kinds of emotions now..unexplainable..
without even able to calm myself down..
my sister tell mi again tat my popo might be having cancer..
OMG OMG OMG..!
NO...SERIOUSLY PLS GOD..
I DON WAN HER TO HAVE CANCER..
i really love her so so so much..
she is old le..
i just wan her to spend the rest of her life peacefully AND healthy..
i really don noe how will i react if she really have cancer..and yet we cant take care of her in singapore.
mum was shock and down when she heard tat news too..
she didn tok for a very long time..just a few simple nods..
report will come out tml ...
god pls..
help mi..help her..help us..
if she have cancer..i will nv forgive myself cause i nv did my fullest part and didn company her enough yet

2008-10-04T16:32:00.001+08:00

reminding photos uploaded from the fomular 1 amber lounge

when to lots of places..
tat day..
bank-far east-airport-tamah merah-redhill-redhill market-miss aikho chia house(spring cleaning)

bye baobei..will be waiting for you to come back..
you don come back nvm..present must come back..!oppss too straight forward le..hehe

its spring cleaning time!!

k box at jurong...it was fun
full of stupid actions and funny ppl in it..1!

zouk tonight...
will take pic and upload..ciao!

2008-09-30T01:33:00.000+08:00

three days at amber lounge is super unforgetable ,fun,tired and pain!!
i learn alot from it..saw lots of ppl ,celebrties, super models, and racers...
for racers part...i don even noe how they look like but on sunday night there is 17 drivers attending the party..
i can onli say..tis is a great party with super lots of ang mo...they really noe how to play and have fun..
xiao S is at my table..and she was dancing like no body business..haha
quite pretty in person..
i was being stepped by lots of ppl, blue back everywhere scratches everywhere because of all the guest bag..and also broken glasses poking into my flesh..and swelling ankle due to the 3 inch heels for work...
the working hours is very happening too...friday 6pm to 4 am, 9pm to 6 am on sat and sun.
no dinner or supper or breakfast..idiot..haiz mi super hungry every morning..
everyday reach home around 8 am...because of the lousy arrangement of transport

but i really feel sad not able to see the cars for long..
envy my friends who work and the suite..
but i manage to catch the 8 pm race on sunday night while walking to work..we are super close to it..and its is really very very very loud and super super fast..specially when all the cars at one go...your ear and burst!!

i miss amber lounge so much...
no use not working today..!!!
bye f 1!!!!

2008-09-26T14:04:00.001+08:00

saturday..
mos night!!!!!!

went to malacca for my cousin wedding..

2008-09-19T22:17:00.001+08:00

tis is our new baby..cobi!!latest lazy photo..
super naughty..keep biting my hand and shitting everywhere making mi touching his shit every single day!!
he is sick..flu and getting skinner..has been sick since the second day i bought him back..
my heart so pain ma!!i cant make him into a sick dog!
fu ck the illness and return mi my healthy cobi!
vet very ex le!

when to library to study with aikho,jas,baby my sister and merv..
noe wat my sis is doing??
cause she laugh..tis is her penalty..
credits to miss aikho's second half..

is it true tat ppl will be super unluckily during exams period..
i was preparing to go take my passport after my poc paper..
boarded the stupid bus in the morning and accidentally fall asleep..I SLEPT AT 4 AM AND WOKE UP AT 7.30 am..has been super lack of sleep for 5 days le..
my and baby is so hardworking tat we always start studying onli at around 12 am plus..till late night..!
when i wake up..my wallet is gone!it was been stolen by the guy sitting behind mi.he is the onli one there lo!SHI T!!!stupid idiot fuc ker..curse him eyes kena gorge out and eaten by ants..
i lost all my member cards, giro e link, debit atm..causing mi so much trouble just because of your greediness..you will regret one day tat you took my wallet..
everything is inside..
but the worst is my ic!!i need it for passport collection and i must collect it today!!da MN!
bo bian go for police report.
reach there no money ...baby become my atm for a day..
happily think tat maybe there will be a thing a can do right smoothly today..
end up need my ic then can take passport..wat the FU CK..
waste my preious time at the ica building..

ok..i was bored..so start taking stupid pictures!

baby is kind enough to pamper mi to go eat sushi..although he is sick of the taste but seeing mi so despo for it..he i down with it..see so noble..sacrifice for the country..hahaha

look at him..haha caught red handed eating all the food ..
pig in action.. no wonder fatter and fatter..

thks baobei for bringing mi to the police post and baby to company mi here and there
loves you all deep deep.!
oh yea..did i mention my class is involve in F1
SERVING THOSE VIP ba..
can get to see those celebraties from all around the world like nicole from pussy cat dolls and more and those famous racer..
can get a chance to serve them too..
so who say being a server is not good..
i love being it...
i love being a waitress!
you learn,you see, and experience!
they say those ppl pay $1500 per room night and we have to give them the luxury..
erm..wondering who will i see during tat period..
pay is good too.haha
i am looking forward..somemore maybe wil get tips..!just imagine

2008-09-11T17:31:00.000+08:00

present for my burger sis..
flaming lambo!

mrs chia birthday celebration..when loof, supperclub, party world

tis place is cool..lots of bed, for mi to rest!

presentation day aka ps day!we all kena put aeoroplane by the teacher..

it was the best day of the year..
1)shun cheng birthday
2)my aunt and uncle 30 anni
3)wendy and jordon cousin wedding day
4)my 18th birthday the next day

opps..sorri baby...i will give you his phone no!!

the below pic makes mi feel like i am pregnant!.

the area was huge with 99 tables..can you believe it?

the bride is super pretty..welcome to our family wendy sis!

present by my baby....simple but sweet..i am touch..
i name the pink one wo and the brown one ni..
so i am hugging ni every night..

GUESS WAT??my dad bought a dog for mi as my 18th birthday present!!
COCONUT+BABY=COBI (thats how the name comes about)
ppl say its stupid ..really..
but who cares..as long is i love it!
I LOVE COBI..

wow..the burger has the first picture with my cobi..haiz.da mn..
but i got to hug cobi everyday..YEAH!

my baby ask mi to blog that i am a stupid gf that always sleep when he is around..
so everyone pleas take note!!
haha...
baby..did i grant your wish??